I woke up this morning with my eye gunked closed. Yep, pink eye.

I also have a REALLY nasty case of laryngitis. I'm supposed to start a new job on Tuesday!!!! I hope this crap goes away byt hen.

My family keeps irrtitating me, saying I need to go to the doctor's office and "get a prescription" but I've TOLD THEM TIME AND AGAIN you can't get anything for something viral!

...GOD nobody listens to me.

Anyway. I guess I'll talk... hahaha... to you later.

I've discovered the key to keeping Ethan quiet without driving myself insane. Spongebob Squarepants. That show comes on and he shuts the hell up quicker than I can snap my fingers... LoL. It's terrible that I'm planting him in front of the tv all the time, but damn, I need some Ashley Time and that's pretty much the ONLY way I'm gonna get it.

Gil bought a Wii Fit (did I tell you that?) and I've been working out and stuff for the last couple of days (again. But this time I'm going to stick to it, I'm serious, I'm done with being a chunk and feeling self-concious. Am want be MILF) and I've lost just about 4 pounds in just a couple of days. Go me! I'm also almost out of being in the "obese" :( BMI category. Go me!!!

That Swine flu is getting close to home. I guess I don't really understand the hype. Is it supposed to be more deadly than the regular flu? Because I don't know if I even really care.

Maybe that's dumb of me to say.

Oh, well.

<3

Moved out of my mom's house and into downtown K-zoo, college country. I really like living out here - you can literally, BASICALLY walk to every place you need to go. Commutes are much, much shorter. It would take me less than 15 minutes to get to KVCC, and that's pretty cool. Am loving independence. Am still disliking Gil - most of the time. He's actually not so bad when he's not being a jackass.

I'm currently working for the daycare that my cousin works for. She lets me bring Ethan, gives me strange hours and pays decently. Plus she feeds us when we're there. I'm only working like, two days a week there, which is fine, but I think I'm going to need more or find another job. I was employed for McDonalds for a couple short minutes, but they pissed me off so I just stopped going on. Shame on me. But really, if you had to deal with those assholes I think you might've done the same. And it's really irritating when nobody talks to you, just because you're new and they're all clique-y bitches.

Have recently recieved high-speed internet connection. AHH I'M SALIVATING. This is so foreign to me.

My mom had bladder surgery that didn't even work. Sad face.

Ethan now says "shit" at random. Not cool, but hilarious. Very hard not to laugh when he does that.

Am considering joining the National Guard. Holy crap. Need to purchase a tredmil before getting ass handed to me at potential Basic Training. Scared to death of deployment, but it's possible it'd not happen since they're pulling troops out. Don't want to leave Ethan, particularly, but the money and the benefits (paid college tuition, reimbursments, pay for housing expenses and other expenses, plus health care, A MAJOR SIGN ON BONUS and more money coming out the ass. Hooray!) Haven't told my mom I'm thinking about it because she'd flip her damn lid. Don't think I blame her.

Finished Ethan's scrapbook. I feel strangely accomplished.

Need to find a job. Have interview with FireKeepers Casino on Friday. <3 HOPEFUL!

I'm tired. Ugh.

I know that many of you've realized that I've gone off the deep end with my new fandom - Twilight. And I can't wait for the movie to come out, despite my one anger:

Kristen Stewart, who is playing Bella Swan.

At first I was a little reluctant to see Rob Pattinson play Edward, but the more I see clips with him in it, and the more I look at him, the more I see the fit. He's going to be a great Edward, hands down. And his song "Never Think" that's featured on the Soundtrack CD is amazing. He's super talented and I want to jump him.

But back to Kristen Stewart.

First off, I'll give her the fact that she LOOKS the part. I'm not just saying that I don't like her because she "totally doesn't fit the character" or because I'm in a pathetic jealous rage saying that OMG they totally should've picked me over her! But I don't like her attitude.

I read a magazine article posted online the other day, and it was Kristen talking about Twilight, and how she was put off by the enormity of the audience, and that it actually frightened her. That she simply ignored all of the well wishers that came to the set to watch the filming process, kept her head down as she walked by them, and when she went to some convention, I don't know, maybe it was a SCI FI convention, she wanted to turn back around and leave once the fans greeted her.

Now tell me, isn't that just a tad superficial?

She even went so far as to mention that she does not want all the fame and celebrity that this film is bringing and that she wants to sink back out of the spotlight. Good for you then! Go. But honestly, when you're handed such a beautiful opportunity and you can make anything out of it and you just fling it back into people's faces like a whiny, spoiled two year old, then don't expect people to like you.

I just honestly can't stand her and I don't care much for her portrayal of Bella, either.

But I'm neither an honored film critic or the film's director so my voice obviously doesn't matter on it. I figured, though, that I'd just put my opinion out there. I know many people share my reluctance on giving her good criticism.

She better not fuck up that movie.

That's my piece on that!

( Other less note worthy things. )

And stranger than your sympathy, I take these things so I can't feel. I'm killing myself from the inside out, and all your fears have pushed you out.

Ew, I do not like this new stupid LJ thing.

Does anyone know how to get a set-in stain out of a WHITE VIRGIN WOOL ($399) rug?

I'm desperate.

...I forgot what I was going to write down...

;_;!!

"Well, bitch... you're dead." - Gil playing Drakan ^_^

I've been suffering from a really nasty toothache lately because when I had my root-canal, they never fully sealed my tooth back up, so it got re-infected, so I have this large mass pulsating beneath the roots of my poor little molar. They want me to go have surgery to get the tips of my roots removed so they can pull out the infection, but I don't have the money to get it done. I've never been in so much pain in my life as when I get those toothaches. They're so bad.

Happy Mother's Day!

Gave my mom a Ralph Lauren purse. Hope she likes it.

Not much else to say, other than I feel like writing, but I don't know what. We'll see!

P.S. I WANT TO SEE ADVENT CHILDREN, BITCHES!

My god, I love Harry Potter.

I love Gil.

I love Loki.

All is right in the world.

JCPenny's has not called me. Am sad.

Loki decided that he wanted to piss me off, so a couple of days ago he went and chewed on the mouse cord to the computer and the result was a blown-up motherboard. Fucker. When we took it to the damn place to get it fixed the people were like, wth, that doesn't usually happen! But it does because Gil and I have horrible karma from past lives, I'm positive of that.

Uhm... am still jobless. Gil might be getting a job at the Buckle. That sleezy bastard. LoL.

Gah I feel like crud. DAMN BEING A WOMAN.

Nohing else to say I guess. I'm tired ;_;

My birthday is in 14 days. I shall finally be turning 19. I'm very excited. I think Gil wants to take me out somewhere, but we don't know for sure. Ah, the life of "winging it."

I really need to get a job ;_;....

My Grandpa is having his surgery today.

<3

I need to go to the store and buy him something to help pass the time while he's in the hospital. Any suggestions? I'm getting him a puzzle/activity book but I want to get him something else, too.

My grandpa had to go in for surgery yesterday to see if his heart was strong enough to handle the other surgery they need to do: something about cleaning out the artery or some vein in his neck. Come to find out his heart isn't strong enough and that he needs to have open heart surgery for a second time. I don't think I was alive when he had the first one done, but I'm still very, very nervous and upset.

I was laying down with Gil when mom called and told me that, Gil asked me what was wrong and I told him and he goes, "I'm sorry," and held me, petting my hair and giving me the occasional kiss on the forehead. I started crying (the silent kind when you don't want anyone to know how upset you really are) because my Grandpa is the single most loving person on the face of the world - and garaunteed if you met him, you'd like him straight away. He's just THAT sort of person. I love him so much, he's the closest person in my family to me.

Thankfully he's home for today, but I don't know how soon he has to get the surgery done. It's pretty bad timing, what with Christmas right around the corner. I'm upset and I don't really know how to contain myself.

Not to mention I just started my period so I'm really fuckin' over-bearing and emotional right now. LoL.

Ugh. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.

I love you. Please be careful when driving (if you live where there's copious amounts of snow), watch out for trains. Don't over-eat.

Take care of yourselves.

Am currently needing a one-minute long Shakespearian monologue, preferably comedy and NOT from Midsummer Night's Dream. Female character that shows a range of emotions preferred, though I'm not being finicky right now.

Anyone that feels free to give, I shall be only happy to recieve. I'm going to audition for Midsummer at the Civic (though I can't say I'll get in because the Civic fucking hates me for reasons I do not understand), but I'd really love to at least be a damn fairy or something. Who knows? This director is someone who I haven't worked with before and he/she hasn't been involved with the Civic in the past two years (or has and I haven't yet met him/her) so that might just be a plus for me.

Whatever, we'll see. Am not getting hopes up because, well, every time I do something comes and smashes 'em back down!

Please help finding me a monologue. LoL. I'll love ya forever.

Crappy Weather + unwinterized car with bad tires = PROBLEMS!!!!

I skipped my next two classes so I can find an autobody shop to fix my car so I don't die each time I try to drive in the winter. I almost died this morning, fishtailing my way UP THE HILL to try and get to Valley.

Fuck me if I ever try to do that again =\!!!!

Ugh, I don't know what places to call.

OMG it's covered in snow outside and my car isn't winterized, insured, has a brake light out and BAD TIRES. OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD I'M GOING TO DIE >_

Am thisclose to exploding. So angry =\!!!

Math is going HORRIBLY. My latest test - a whopping 35%.

Mother FUCK.

._.; am freezing. Am so annoyed. Want coffee... UGH!!!!

My sister, Jessica, is having a boy. She's naming it Jameson.

Wtf? Dumbass.

I want to call her but I don't want her to think that I give a fuck because, frankly, I'm sick of her. She didn't come to my graduation party, she hasn't bothered to call me. Should I reward her then for making bad choices and becoming a mother at 18? Hah, I think not.

Stupid fuck =\

And if she thinks that she's going to call up me or Jennifer and try to dump her child on us to "babysit" I'm going to tell her to shove it back up her crotch and waddle the fuck away because I don't play that game.

Wow, I'm a hater.

Stolen from Ms. Alex.

( Survey Thingy )



I won’t suffer, be broken
Get tired, or wasted
Surrender to nothing
I'll give up what I
Started
And stop this
From end to beginning
A new day is calling
And I am finally free

Well see what you wanna see. You should see it all.
Well take what you want from me. You deserve it all.
Nine times out of ten, our hearts just get dissolved.
Well I want a better place or just a better way to fall.
But one time out of ten, everything is perfect for us all.
Well I want a better place or just a better way to fall.

I time every journey to bump into you, accidentally
I charm you and tell you of the boys I hate
All the girls I hate
All the words I hate
All the clothes I hate
How I'll never be anything I hate
You smile, mention something that you like
or How you'd have a happy life if you did the things you like

You tried to trade on my naivete
But the things you do and say embarrass me
See once upon a time I was your fool
But the one I leave behind he is you


Ugh, I'm still fuming over what Gil said. Bitch =\

P.S. Those are excerpts from different songs - it's not one big song 'cause then it wouldn't make sense. You silly gooses!!!